Divisional Round Gambling Locks By Brian Dolan
Let me preface this; I am by no means a gambling expert.
My research, if you want to call it that, is me looking at a line and going purely off my gut reaction. I’m a football guy so I refuse to look at the numbers ‘cause numbers are for geeks and that is a hill I am willing to die on.
My career record is positive (I have no numbers and will not be subjected to a fact check) so if you want to make some free money I suggest dipping into your savings account and putting it all on the line with these picks. Let’s get to it:
Pick #1 Packers -7
The Seahawks are complete dog shit and have costed me more money than any team so the Rams win over them does not impress me in the slightest. Aaron Rodgers is coming into this game coming off a week where he not only donated 500k to the Barstool fund (Thank you for service) and announcing he will be hosting Jeopardy this coming year. Here’s a state you won’t find: the After-life effect. If you have a soul you know Alex Trebek is going to be looking over Aaron Rodgers like its Angels in the Outfield so don't be surprised if Mr. State Farm himself drops a five burger right on Sean McVay’s beautifully gelled hair.
Pick #2 Buffalo vs Baltimore Over (49.5)
Lightning does not strike twice, especially in gambling. Last week basically every game hit the under so naturally you can bank on at least 2 of these games hitting the over. This is without question one of those games. You’ve got Lamar’s feet vs Allen’s howitzer of a right arm going head to head with an entire parking lot full of shit-faced, table breaking Bill’s Mafia lunatics just outside the gate. This game’s going to be wild and you can certainly bank on some wild picks by both qbs so go ahead and take the points. A wise man once said, “Life’s too short to take the under.”
Pick #3 Browns’ Money Line (+381)
I scrolled onto Twitter and saw Odell tweet, don’t be surprised when they win. Good enough for me.
So there it is, free money. You’re welcome.